You knew you were going to screw that test. You knew. even before the test, you knew. even when you were doing that test. you knew you were going to screw that test. you knew. you knew. you just knew it.

but i studied for it.

you knew you were going to screw that test even when you were studying. you knew.
But hey, it's okay. you passed you got a C.

But i don't want a C. The least I will allow myself to get is a B3. But i really want an A.

You're aiming too high don't you think?

But that's what they've asked from me since young and that has become what i want, what i aim for now.

well, you're just going to die then.

I know.

If you want to tell someone you can you know. They said they'll listen.

But i don't want to. I can't. I just can't. I can't expect them to be there for me. 24/7. I can't expect them to be there simply because I need it. Everyone else has their own obligations their own things to deal with. I can't expect it of them. Besides I wouldn't know what to say. and I don't want to be dependent on them

in a way you already are.

shut up.
-

Conversations with myself. How fun.

-
"Vi, you're stressed."
"But so is everyone else."
-
caro-
chem is just chem is all very well.
but not when it's piled onto other things.
I know. it's all for God. We were made for Him.
But. my mother doesn't seem to think that way.
she's just-
i'm going to start ranting so nevermind that.
I think i need a hug now.
maybe not need but i want one.
but nevermind. I'll survive.
thanks friend.
-

I'm not going to get a single A this term.
then she's going to start crapping. again.
well, that's one thing to look forward to
oh joy.

-
so i won't stop dying
won't stop lying
if you want i'll keep on crying
did you get what you deserved?
is this what you always want me for?
-
I keep thinking and singing the word 'lying' as crying.
lol.
-
Moments are still just moments.
moments and forevers never lasts.
everything's just an illusion,
they're not even worth the mention.

watch the moments go by,
and all you can really do is sigh.
time will keep on going,
on and on, never stopping.

if you slip, you fall.
nothing's going to stall
just because you fell.
and if you don't get up, it's farewell.

live the moment as long as you like,
but they're only a short flight.
they're all short lived,
then they're memories none too vivid.
-
crappy things when i'm emo
i have to get the word 'moment' out of my head.
art is really getting into my head.
ahh shit. i have to finish art by today.

bio was over at 12. I left class at 1:24.
die lah.
-
They've programe their feelings
their synchronizin'
And criticizin'
-
I don't want to go to australia for sabbaticals anymore
i'm going to get emotionally blackmailed.
-
thanks joy for the hugs. thanks val for sitting/being there and the message. and thank you to dawn for that video. it cheered me up loads. but don't take me wrong, sonny is still a hell lot better than that... thing.

thanks guys.
-
So you're tired of runnin'
You're tired of hurting
You're tired of living in their lie
You're tired of listening
You're tired of hurting
Keep your sadness alive, alive, alive
-
i'll be okay