Friday, September 28, 2007

coming home and ranting right away is becoming a bad habit.

art was okay i suppose.
really have to thank God for putting me in the right mood
but this morning. for some reason, my phone didn't ring.
and i was almost late for school
why today of all days?

during art.
when cyeo came to give joy her stuff
she smiled at me
i smiled back
but then. i started getting really nervouse/:


last 15 minutes.
ms lau walks in and she has a worksheet for me
and she just had to give it to me there and then
==
um, hello. was trying to rush through art there!
i just threw that worksheet onto the floor.

i didn't get to finish it though
at least not what i would consider 'finish'

then after. i felt normal. i really felt okay.
i even got my appetite back for a while
but now, the food just feels. wrong. annoying.
and my mum's trying to make me eat more

i'm tired. i don't want to deal with anything now
and the 'anything' now equals to everything. quite literally.
i'm just stuck again
that feeling is just set so tight and snug that it won't go away.
i don't have to think of anything
the feeling's just there

seriously.
what is wrong with me?

nothing works anymore.


i'll make the same request
though i think i should put it to rest

i made rules when i was in need
but to them i never did heed

look where i've gotten myself now


[edit/]


I am quite fine now.
after some sleep. but i can feel it sinking in again.
i'm not thinking of anything.
it's. just. there.
i'll just deal with it. somehow.

you know.
i think that i really did overreact/overstress about Art
i mean. crying is seriously overreacting.
really.
but. i couldn't help it. the tears just fell.
sigh.
and i might just have another episode again.

what is with me being so unstable?

i've slept for three hours
but i'm still feeling tired

i remember the time back then
really? when?
i was never so affected.
that never happened.
i could at least stand alone
and there you are staring at the phone
now it's just crap to the brim and full
at last you're being truthful.

everything's so disorganized here
but let's not find it queer
since i suppose that's how it is now.


today's friday.

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