It's not even one day into my hiatus and I'm breaking it. I'm sorry. you don'thave to read it but this is the only outlet i can think of now.

Pancha's dead. I turn my head and i see her head first facing the ground wedged between the house thing and the glass wall.
and all I could say was 'oh shit oh shit oh shit oh fuck'
her eyes were still wide open
i don't know what to think
i don't know what to do
i'm crying like shit like it's going to help
it's like she commited suicide
don't make me think like that
i already have so many thought in myhead
how?
how?
how?
why?
why is this happening?
i don't need this
i really really don't
not with two deaths in a month
not with EOYs being so close

my dad isn't helping
he doesn't know what to do i guess
i don't blame him
but couldn't he be less annoying?

shit lah
how how how?
why?

i don't know who to turn to
i don't know what to do
i don't know i don't know I don't know

am i selfish to say :can someone please help me?
and i stupid to say: I don't know what to do?

oh God, please please please help me

i don't have an appetite anymore
and all my dad is doing is telling me i must eat
i don't want to eat
i don't want to do anything
i just want to die

wisp is still here
but she's sick
what if she dies as well?
what am i supposed to do?
what?