hello guys.

i guess i do in a way owe the people on this side a little explaination or just a small update on my life. well, sec 4 is you know *waves hands in vague movements*. well, yeah. and i think i've permanently quit riding for now. even after Os. i think the likelihood of me ever getting back onto a horse is very very small. sigh. it's just... things. you know... things. i'm not at all happy with that, but there really isn't anything i can do about it.

to dawn, jun and kath.
i miss you guys and i dont' think that i'll be seeing you guys anytime soon. ahhwells. say hi to sonny for me. tell him that i love him and really wish that i can ride him again or had been able to ride him before i had to stop.

i love you guys too.

michelle.
UPDATE your blog. how long have you gotten back from spain eh? ahhwells. i hope you're alright. take care yeah?

see you guys around.

and all i want to do sometimes is just to hug you and cry
that scene, i've imagined it so many times in my head
but now i'm letting it slip by with a silent sigh
maybe to see you again, there really is no way

strange that i should feel that i miss you the most
but i guess you always try to cling onto what you think will disappear
i had you in my arms, now i'm losing and you're quite lost
but i'll go on with me life and soon it won't feel weird

i think of you because you could give me freedom
on your back splashing across the sands
and you did give me trouble at times, so i didn't fear boredom
but now i finger that braid of your hair and ask myself "when?"

it is really unfair for me to complain about this
since many never experienced what i had with you
but because i had you and now i don't, you i really do miss
but i can't help it, i just miss the times i had with you

funny and silly i fine this whole chunk of a poem
why writing to you who won't ever read, you can't even read
it's only to me that'll remember all those moments
only me that'll regret when i come back and read

who cares really then? just one girl who lost her dream
just one girl who lost something that many never had
just one girl out of so many more in a realm
i could cry, i could frustrate, but who's going to care?

i think it's more than just having to quit riding
more than just losing you to another
more like i'm sometimes wondering why i'm living
and you were conveniently just there to make it feel better

in ways unknown and ununderstandable to many
you were and are important in my life
and this whole scene i still find quite laughable and funny
and i still can't help but keep asking why

i look back and i can see all the connections that others cannot
i can look back and replay whatever scenes i still remember
i'm asking and screaming "why?" and the wind whispers happily "why not?"
and to that i can't say anything but shiver

it's a late night now, almost midnight
the time when reality returns with a new day
not that it matters, i can't vision dreams at night
and each day is supposedly a new day

where and what are new beginnings?