today was just emotional.
but i'm okay now.
i really am.
-

dear You,
i don't know what you're trying to prove
or what you're trying to do
but please stop playing at being my ______
and when i say 'playing'. i mean it literally
when it doesn't meet your fancy
you just decide to stop
others had a hard time helping me cheer up
and you come and decide to try and bring me down again
well. thanks for trying to hinder me at this point of time
but sorry. i'm not going to let it happen as long as i can help it

<3 vi
-

caro.
no prob dearest.
although i should thank you
cause the walk really helped me
was able to do quite a bit of reading
-

after tuition, i asked the laoshi how i could improve my chinese
cause, apparently my words don't flow properly
and it's just like english
i must have that 'feeling'
which i don't have for chinese
can i give up on chinese?

you can't

why?

because you're chinese.

ahwells.

art is still an idon'tknow what to do
i want to finish the bulk of it tomorrow
7 days.
and my intro looks like i'm doing lit ==
i mean. i'm making points and explaining, elaborating
lit is getting into my head too much.

oh.
know the scratch at the back of my leg?
i got bored and started scratching it
the scab came off
and blood flowed out.
and i remembered things we learn in bio(:
i'm a kinesthetic learner!
hah!
so it's perfect. since i can't really remember that part.
yes. the sadist in me is talking.
but heyy. at least i'm not hurting anyone.

oh caro.
the bus ride home made me think that i might reconsider
about sunday..
i'm indecisive. sorry.
but i don't want to be of trouble.

btw. coffee's not working for me
i did try the packet one
i still felt sleepy
although i did stay up a little longer than usual(:
-

Can you see that I've stopped caring?

emotions rise, emotions fall
it's all an uncanny repitition
there is no one to call
all things i hear, a fiction

messed up again
and no, it's no fain
emotions a riot
i'm getting tired

drop the heavy books
and all the useless notes
do they really matter?
let them rot and tatter

why do you still bother?
you're backed into a corner
just give up
just give up

what's with all the futile tryings?
it's yourself you're killing
you can never win
so what's with the fuss and the din?

throw it away
stop counting down the days
there is no point
in trying to carry on.
-
this is not depicting what i feel now exactly
just generally so

and i can do italics again.
-

i remembered to get my hug from sonny yesterday.
i'm still quite happy about it.