caro-
thanks for the concern friend.
I know I will survive
I'm just afraid of the ending(s).
and you yourself. please take care too yeah?
*hugs*
-

Toady, after... 11? 12? I felt normal for the first time in days
and for the first time in days i felt that i could actually do things properly

and i did

VBS meeting went on fine.
Dance felt somewhat fine as well
I didn't mess up so much of my steps.
or maybe it's because we didn't do much today
but hey, it's a huge improvement.
and i'm happy(:
-
Still I'm asking myself.
How long can this last?
and how long is this thing going to drag on?

Somehow I already know what I've chosen
Somehow I already know that I don't really care to change
But there's always that stubborn part of me
That still goes on saying that I cannot choose that

And so I really don't know what to do
two roads lie before me
already i've stepped on one
But i keep drawing back and going back to square one

The mouth of the crossroad
I've stood here for so long
How long has it been?
a month? two months?
how much longer can i drag this on?

I can't imagine how my life will be if i pick one over the other
in a way, there's no correct answer
life is full of changes
so many twists and turns i've felt these past few months
what is one more change anyway?

But I'm afraid of the regrets yet to come
I'm afraid of the regrets I know are coming
regrets. i've had them all my life
but i don't think it ever was on a matter like this

but picking that path over the other is impossible as well
it. simply. would. not do.

'Find the root of the problem and therein you'll find the solution'
well, I've found the 'root of the problem'
It's simply you and me
that's all there is to it
and finding the 'root of the problem'
makes me think that my choice is the best

but of course, there's 'what is to come' to consider.

So i'm just stalling
trying not to make the decision cause I'm afraid
of regrets, of the awkwardness, of the infinite possibilities of changes
of what is to come and what won't come.

But I know, I have to make my decision soon.
This matter cannot drag on for so long.
-
well, i just thought of that
badly structured i know
wells, you'll know what i'm thinking/feeling now
but don't get me wrong
I'm still quite happy(:
for the moment anyway.

I drew something last night
it's been so long since i got an 'image' in my head
and so long since i could actually draw it out
and so much longer since i could actually draw it out properly and nicely that i can actually feel proud of it.

girlfriend's playing now.
*feels amused*
and it also happens to be on my top played list
*feels even more amused*
and no, i don't like that song