today i felt so out of place again
i think she noticed
but i really doubt she cares
well, you know what?
neither do i.
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if i could turn back time would i?
but at the same time i wouldn't
but then, just for memory's sake
i want to remember
what it was like before.
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why is it that i can only have one?
why is it that once i gain the other
i lose the original?
why is it that others can keep both
but i can only have one?
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i remembered that i promised myself
i would never let it happen
but it's happening now
and what scares me most is that
i don't care.
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i think
i should go
and find back that old independence
just in case
but still, nothing's ever foolproof is it?
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today i went through the contacts list
i spotted your name and i stared
but i couldn't think of anything to say
so i left it and walked away.
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don't talk to me about regrets
i damn well know what they are.
I'm so full of them.
along with everything else.
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you're trying to fix the puzzle together,
trying to put it into the full perfect picture.
but what are you supposed to do,
when the pieces keep messing up on you?
and they never ever fit properly with the rest?
---
and what do you do
when all that you held important
fades and becomes nothing?
how are you supposed to replace
something that was the most important in your life?
---
you get so frustrated
and you just want to throw them all away
but you can't
cause that's your life you're throwing away
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i think i need to hug someone.
i think i need a hug.
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